In many ways, the last year of the decade was a contradictory one. There seemed to be such hope in the air with the protests against injsutice and climate emergencies, yet people routinely voted for selfish, narrowminded parties. Brexit seemed a hopeless prospect and yet people were determined to push it through. There was so much joy and within the same moments, so much panic and sadness.
These are all problems that have been building over the last years. It seems fitting that as the last year of the decade, 2019 was the most whiplash inducing one yet. Sunshine! War! Hope! Crushing despair! All within the next five minutes.
It’s been weird in my personal life as well. I started the year by losing my job, then found another in a lovely charity. Despite the personal problems I wrote more than I’ve made more than before, generating about too many poems. I also read 64 books, which is more than ever. 2 It was a hard year, finacially and emotionally, and yet I felt creative and driven to make more. It was also a year of success as I enjoyed performing more around Bristol, and I had a book published.
The contradictions will only get worse because we’re living in crisis. Climate change became real last year for many people. We find it hard to recognise a crisis when its far off but now, in the middle of it, we can react and join together. A lot of people are scared right now and with good reason. And yet, the deal of being human is we cant experience the fear all the time because it would crush us. We still have lives to lead despite the fire. This year felt so contradictory because the beautiful moments in our own lives were challenged by the poltical events of the world. I enjoyed writing poems and making this blog, but as I write the world is on fire. It is hard to reconcile both emotions at once.
The question we face is how do we continue in an emergency? The same way we always have. We live our lives and unite in laughter, sadness, anger and most importantly, love.